Jogged in rain…

It was 7 am and still dark… I wondered if the clock was showing wrong time…

Got out putting on my run gear only to be in cool drizzle… The condition of roads in a rain was quite bad… so i headed to the park where only a handful of people were walking/jogging… most people do not want to get down and get wet… sad, i thought… such a pleasant atmosphere… tiny raindrops falling on your face and all green around… the fresh air…. heaven!!!

Took off for a run in that light rain… i thought i would just do some 4-5 rounds in the park… ended up doing 7-8 laps… and then 30 minutes walk… the rain was such a motivator… I always enjoyed running in rain… it is always a heavenly experience… Once or twice i had played football in rain too… indescribable joy!!!

Monsoon is slowly setting in Delhi/NCR… making use of most of the rainy days!!!

Raindrops on my window…

Summer has been hard… It was a killer… crushing spirits, destroying peace… it was hell… Even in August, it feels like May… Survival in Delhi depends on your ability to survive summer which covers 75% of the days in an year….

It was Thursday…. Back in Delhi after a short ‘vacation’, expecting to be fried in the oven once again… then i saw raindrops started falling on my window, it was lashing out a while later…. raining hard…

The rain drops fall on my window pane.

The rain drops have set the tone for the day.

When it rains hard, the noise around you feels like silence… the sound of rain which quietens everything and create that silence which is not at all empty…

Sitting in that silence, ignoring everything everything else around you… that was heaven!!!

The summer sun is not meant for me.

I belong to the rain.

A ride through the memory lane…

I don’t have any friends left in my home town Thodupuzha for me to hangout when I come down here… Also I take a trip to home during off seasons when even nobody comes for a vacation…

So it is a lonely ride whenever I go out to the town…

Initially, couple of years back, it was weird for me and I used to drag my brother along in case I need to go out…

But recently I started enjoying my lonely rides…

I can move around here and there making a ride through the memory lane… By my old school… My college and the cafe we used to hang out during college… Our favourite church…

I made a similar trip today… It was quite emotional this time around… I went out as I was feeling lonely at home and bored after reading 2 books on a stretch… A lonely ride after lonely couple of days at home…

Passing by all those places I was been with my gang; suddenly I was sad and started longing for the old days… The good old days!!!

People have moved away and the connections are through only social networks… Wondering when I will be able to meet the people I have grown up with again!!!

My dad's vintage radio...

My dad keeps a radio at home… it is not a decorative piece…. but he still listens to it… morning news to evening chat programs and various other shows i have no idea about… the same old All India Radio stuff….

It’s weird whenever i come home listens to those AIR tones early in the morning… I wonder if anyone listens to radio anymore… there are 100s of channels in TV these days, and radio to people of this generation means the FM channels we listen in our car or phone…

This radio of dad’s is quite ancient…. It was there in our ancestral home for a while… when everyone left the home and our grandmother came to live with us, my dad brought that radio here… Since then that is his daily giver of news… Considering him being a guy who loves to live in the past, i wonder if he ever stop using that… He loves it, he refuses to part with it… because to him it was part of his story, his times…

Scary new beginnings....

I am freaking out... i am going crazy...
Tomorrow marks the beginning of a new race for me... a new beginning...
The path is not set properly, it drives me mad.... it makes me tensed...
Its not going to be an easy journey from here on...
I am going to ride along the roads i have not travelled before... going to walk the paths i have not seen before...
The thought of all these scares me...

But i have to take this journey on my own... i cannot wait for anyone.... its my journey.... i am going to be my own leader... my own adviser... my own motivator... it is scary, it is difficult... but i have to... because its my life... its my war... its my fight...
Yes, its my war!!!!

Of depression....

Yesterday i woke up with the news of Robin Williams' suicide... He was one of those kinds of people whom i thought might living a happy life... one who is rich and make people laugh... comedian, a successful actor... what else he needs in his life!!! But he was in serious state of depression and that one moment of lose of control, it was all over...

News like that make me think being a rich guy he could have many things to hang on to, than taking his life... Then why did he do something like that?

The truth is we cannot judge the life of others unless we are in their shoes... Everyone has his or her own bundle of pain and agony which eats the happiness and can push you at times to deep well of depression...

I have been in situations like that and now it is scary even to think if i had done something wild... I thank god that my mind was strong enough for me to get out of the situations... it could have gone much worse for me... But ended up ok...

Many judge people with depression... especially in India where an average youngster has to live a life fulfilling the expectations of 100 other people in his life... The pressure to make it to the top in this competitive world is not easy these days... One failure can put you down in such a way that you wont be able to get up back to your feet... 

The society, especially the family, instead of judging someone on his her her failure has to understand the pressure one is going through and should get him or her the required help... Encourage to fight again... get to counselling...

Anyone can fall someday... it wont be a smooth walk for anyone in life... So, it is important to hold on to the positives in life... In times of woes, those will strengthen our minds to get up...