The pleasure of speaking in your mother tongue...

I don't know when was the last time i spoke in my mother tongue this long... Had a long chat with an old friend of mine from hyderabad university.... and then i realised how bad i am with the language now eventhough i can still speak...

I struggled initially to get the fluent language along... i was missing the normal talk... it was mostly made up...

But i felt good... and then i got better... 

It was a pleasing experience in all...

The fact that i chat with brothers and cousins mostly in whatsapp... and my parents' calls are as short as a 'hi' or 'bye' or 'how are things'... and catch up with other mallu friends in facebook...

Also, here in Delhi i don't hang out with any malayalees.... so, the chance of speaking in malayalam is zero on a normal day... 

Probably i should call up people more to get the speech going... before i forget all the key words and slang...

The last Monday of July...

It is the last Monday of July...
And what is special about the last Monday!!! There was something mysterious about the day from morning...
The sunlight was not there at 5.30.... whole summer i used to wake up exactly at 5.30, because that was the time when the sunlight penetrated through my window curtains when how thick it was...
I was out in the balcony... its a cloudy morning...
Mondays are not lazy Mondays for me these days!!!
So, there was no spirits lacking for the morning jog....
But as soon as i stepped into the park for jogging, the sky opened up and it started pouring down...
Took shade for few minutes... and but then i couldnt resist running into rain...
And i took off in the rain... jogged few rounds... in rain....
The best feeling ever.... the best start for the week??
Again... Monday, the last Monday of July!!! Lots of hope for this week.... fingers crossed... hands folded...
Hope.... yes, hope!!!!

Woes of an Internet addict...

I am one of those Internet addicts who feels restless with an Internet-less laptop... A laptop without internet is as good as useless... 

Last month's Internet plan got over a day before the scheduled validity... and i woke to a  Saturday morning without Internet... I was using MTS and the recharging was mostly online before the validity getting over... 

This time, i don't have the option for online recharging because even my phone internet was not active... The second option was to go to the MTS store which i know was quite far... you need to get ready, take a metro and recharge and comeback by evening...

So i took the easy way; recharge vodafone... and use in the dongle... Unfortunately, at 10 am, the man at the local phone store didn't give me much options and i ended up recharging a low data plan... means i have to be really careful in the downloads...

I am used to a unlimited plan at any time and this plan made me quite uncomfortable... like closing the connection even when I am not using... I am so hooked to the news and updates and other activities that when the notifications stop coming, i feel like i am shut out from the rest of the world... Even when i am reading a book or doing something else, i would always look up for updates... i need all the updates to keep coming... 

This whole week had been irritating with internet woes, probably i will change my plan next week... But the whole process made me realize how addicted i am to Internet... what if i ended up some place where there is no connectivity of any kind... I will sure go insane in no time... 

Getting out of this Internet, should be a slow process... Reducing the internet activity can be tough... Facebook and twitter and score updates on the match days are the worst... cant just get away from them... for me, it will need quite a lot will power to stay away...

The wait for that call which never came...

I kept glancing at the phone every now and then.... even though it was never on 'silent'...
Infact, the sound settings kept it in 'loud' mode rather than the 'normal'... just in case... if i am away....
And every now and then i kept checking the range; should not lose the call.. if in case the phone goes off the range...
Even when i slept, it kept it right under the pillow...
All these... in wait for that call... which never came by the way....
Its been hours? days? weeks? (or may be months)... losing track of time... losing the patience...

In the end.... what is left is a broken heart... the pain and disappointment....

Dealing with the WHYs...

Life poses more questions than answers these days... Because life is never fair and it never gives a feeling of perfection or satisfaction...
It's an uncertain world around... and it is sometimes scary even to think about the uncertainties in life...
There are lots of WHYs in my mind right now...

Why human beings have to struggle?
Why there is happiness and sadness at uneven proportions?
Why some sufferings never go away?

Life plays the game on its own rules... Its the human task to find the rules and play and then win...

Why can't we have the short cut to success?
Why there is no cheat code for this?

Looked around for answers and i know i will never get from any source... It is stupid to look for short cuts and cheat codes... But sometimes life challenges in such a way that the anger in me makes me look for ways... ways to win... ways to survive... ways to be on top...
Ah, life... you play harder now!!!

Me and my dangerous mind...

(random ramblings)

Sometimes what puts you down most may not be the discouraging words of others, but it is what coming from your own mind...

Your thoughts control you... 

It tells you things which make you feel better... It can also put you in a place where you start doubting yourself... 

Mind plays!!!

Dreams are soothing... But nightmares leave your day ruined...

Mind plays!!!

Thoughts can cheer you up as well as crush you... 

Controlling my wandering mind? Focus by meditation... throwing my lazy self out... more reading, more writing... more patience... 

Dealing with the most dangerous entity in my life!!! 

(feel much better)