No pains, no gains... so, take that big leap...

I have been a sports person all my life… And I know all about what it takes to win or lose… and what it feels like winning or losing…

No win comes without pain and sacrifice… the pain in getting up in the morning, working out… sacrifice in losing out in evening chit chats and fun for the practice… And the win coming through after all these, makes me feel, all those pain and sacrifice are worth taking… No win comes with sitting by a safe rock…

And we cannot win in life playing it safe… you need to play it hard… 2 years in my job, I knew it was a safe space… sitting by a 'rock' utilizing less than 5% of my abilities!!! It never made me feel like a winner… never!!

So, that's what I decided to take a leap… A leap can be risky if you fall hard… it will be a painful fall… but no pains, no gains… I am ready for a fall now, hard or soft… life will be meaningless if there is no risk involved or no pain involved…

There will be judgemental people around, who is definitely going to call me an idiot... I am preparing myself, not just to move forward, not to ignore the discouraging words... It is going to be a challenge.... a big adventure... and i am going for all the risk... 

When heroes fall

Jan 3rd, 2014 was a depressing day, more than i felt on 29 Dec, 6 days before that.... That was the day i strongly felt heroes can fall, heroes can fail....
My idols (mostly in sports) when i grew up included the greats Sachin, Schumacher, Sampras and Steffi Graf... Grew up at the heights of their careers... it was saddening when they touched the lows, but was never upset because they always gave their 100% during their peaks....
But on 29, Dec 2013 when Schumacher fell into coma to stay like that for days even until his b'day on 3rd Jan, it was unbearable.... The man, who redefined the need for speed, the man who re-defined 'win-at-all-means', the man who gave the thrills of speed on every single sunday mornings, afternoons, evenings, nights lay there on the mercy of a life supporting machine.... that killed me.... He didnt wake up on New year day, his b'day... he didnt deserve that....
We all have heroes whom we look up to... they give the motivation and push to go out and try the 'cannot be dones'.... And when they fall and never rise, i wonder where have all the powers which made them the 'heroes' gone.... I dont believe in luck....but all i pray is let some luck be showered on my hero....

Welcome 2014, be good....

Another year passed by.... i have no idea how to rate 2013....The fact is; it was an year with mixed feelings...
It was good, then it went bad.... then got better, further down the road worse.... Lots of things happened which made me smile, lots made me cry, angry, upset.... yet, i am here still, all in good shape...
End of the year, there were un-kept promises, unfulfilled dreams... All, i need in this next year is the willpower and lots of strength to kick more.... run more....
There were moments when i lost hope, but there were also sweet victories.... i need more of that this year....
I do not know how this year will turn out to be.... where it starts i know, how it ends i really don't know... All i can do is try my best to the very end, give my everything.... rest will be.....................

Loving being a bookworm....

It was a blogger's block again.... Couldn't blog anything solid for months....May be it was a work and not getting enough time, somehow i thought the writer in part has disappeared....
Then came the books... it was one of those sunday shopping in CP, i came across this book 'the perks of being a wallflower' in book store... I didnt like the movie much even with good reviews and all... I thought i will give the book a try.... From CP to the home, i started reading the book.... the writing style was different and i could make this connection to my own writing.... Letter writing more... I write in that mode.... it took only 5 hrs to finish the entire book....
That was the beginning.... the book-list in the novel was motivating... i made a list for myself as well... inclusive of all the classic i missed reading in my young days.... Then started the book ordering process.... so far finished reading:
                       The great Gatsby
                       The catcher in the rye
                       The Bell jar
In my self, waiting to be read:
                       One hundred years of solitude
                       This side of the paradise
                       Walden
                       Lord of the flies
There will be more books to the self soon... But this practice is making me feel better.... No more worried about the blogger's block... because i equally enjoy reading... one thing i was missing whole 10 years in academics....
When in university, as a student, you spent all your class/work time in class/lab... so the rest of the time was always spent outdoors... I never got time, to sit in room with a novel....
So here is the time, here is the opportunity to be a bookworm.... and there is no better feeling than the moment you finish a book and take another one...

Sun, Rain and lots of fresh air

I was looking forward to this vacation…. Life in delhi was getting a lil crazy…. Summer, humidity, pressure at work…. I was longing to escape…. Finally got the tickets in appropriate time… to the paradise… to home…

Wakes up to have my favourite breakfasts… varieties of fish for lunch… TV, movies… badminton with Sherryn in the evening… and cool nights… sleep peacefully…. Breathing in all fresh air now… walking through green grass…  clean roads everywhere… all exact opposites of Delhi…

Last time I came home, I was roaming around… didn’t get time to relax… Relaxing is all I do now… when I get back to delhi, I know, it will b only running around… So making the most of the time here… Enjoying my do-nothing days….

When was the last time iMy week-ends were for reading and lots of writing... But for the past few months, my blogs have become few-liners... having all the time in the world now to blog, write journals and letters... nothing feels better than this...

Vacation is getting over in 3 days... filling my lungs with some fresh air till then... because once i am back in Delhi, its all polluted roads and filthy people...

Academics calling... again!!??

And academics called me... again... possibly for one last time...
Last time, when it called, i said NO... it turned out to be a big mistake... The fact that the zero appreciation for my work now, making me think i should consider this offer...
The situation I was in last time was different... i was about to step into a new career... i never knew the evils of it... This time, i can weigh both... sort the pros and cons... This is going to be the biggest decision of my life, i can tell you....
As a physicist i always wanted to contribute to my subject... I the present job, well, i am not getting that opportunity to be a physicist... that kills me... I am really missing being a researcher, and the pleasure of getting my own paper publushed.... Academics is not always the perfect place to be... it has its own evils... Competition is high there as well... But the respect you get there, you cant even dream of in my present work place... thatz going to play a big factor as well...
The next few weeks are crucial.... Too much of decisions to make... its going to a fight between my brain and my heart.... 

And I will miss that old Scot...

May 8, 2013:

It was rather unexpected. I mean the news that SAF is retiring.

First, it came as a speculation. I was in the office, having a normal day till them… Once the speculation became a general discussion topic, I started praying hard… it should just be a speculation.

I was having a not so great day already… Internet was down at home and I was slowly going through the news channels, which was usually my morning ritual from home… By the time I was jiggling work and news, I read the news by around 12… it was shocker….

I started messaging everyone concerned…. It was breaking news for everyone… and shocker…

Slowly, I saw the news sites and twitter pages getting flooded with tributes… I began to fear the worst… If it is just a speculation, someone should have posted against it… denying it or something… But, that never happened…. My heart was yelling 'noooo' all the time….

Finally around afternoon,  2 or so… Manchester United confirmed the news… Fergie is indeed leaving… Something I always thought, will never happen!!! Or impossible to happen!!!!

To me from the beginning English football was all about Manchester United…. And United = Fergie… He was right there when I started watching the game… so, something like a 'change of manager' was unthinkable… For other clubs, managers came and went… but for us, the  grand old man, planned and signed up players and collected cups after cups… It was cool… even cooler to a United fan…  Even players changed… We thought Beckham was the ultimate MU player…. No…. Big names just moved on… The club was never known for a particular player… but for only for… this man….

I don’t know what will be of the future of my club… it will be difficult  days… I dearly wish SAF change his mind and stayed on… But you cant expect anyone to grow young back in time… he dedicated his life for United for the past 27 years… its time we give back to him…. A well deserved retirement… and a big Thank you….

Thank you Sir Alex for all the memories… we will definitely miss you!!!