Don't know why...

Don't know why...

Why I feel the gloom.... though there is enough sunshine outside...
Why I feel lonely.... though there are a hundred around me...
Why I feel like crying.... though there are a thousand reasons to smile...

Sometimes I don't know the 'Me' in me....

Party times!!!

It's party time here... High...

With different teams.. winners and runners up... gathering together... and invitations being sent out to few of the close teams... its busy time here from last thursday.. Starting with the Mallu victory party on last thursday, it was the 4rd yesterday....

And today is my special party to my close friends and team and my own team party on Wednesday...

Parties, its not just the food; regarding the food, everything is cooked by the students only... We mallus are gearing up for the cooking session after few hours... The shopping is done and the place is set... now just to meet all and have a great time cooking and singing songs and finally at night thanking all for the help and support and enjoy the dinner in open air with stars looking over...

For me it's a special party today since the last football tournament may be the last of the kind in HCU for me... leaving this year from campus, no more team events for me... So a perfect time for expressing my gratitude to all...

All around here are helping me in cooking and shopping... It's touching... I feel I owe them lot more than just a party...

Misfits... The new champs...

Misfits.... Misfits....

The name was around the field for 2 days... Finally yesterday night when our captain received the winners prize; we too shouted at the top of our voice "misfits"...

Yeah, we won... we are the women football champs of HCU...

The first match against the Nagaland team last day was tough in a sense they played defense and I really had a tough time being the striker... But managed a goal... finally we won the match on penalty shoot out...

The final was worse... against the Mizo team... they were famous for rough game... and we were really roughened... Me and my my captain scored one goal each... But the referee mistakes gave the opponents 2 penalties inbetween and the match again went to penalty shoot out... Unlike the other day I didn't miss the shot... We won 2-0 in penalties...

The excitement followed was high... we danced, we jumped, we screamed... afterall it was our day... and we felt we deserved the victory...

To add to all these more happy news... Mallus won the men's title... So the party going double...

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Pic above : The whole of misfits with the winners cheque....

Misfiters time ahead...

Finally Monday... I hate Mondays... The fact that I dint show up my face in department on Saturday and Sunday make things even worse... A research scholar should never have week-ends.... Somebody told some time back; my boss... Anyway he didn't tell anything regarding my absence...

Whole week-end the Misfits were getting ready for the great tournament... Today 'Night cup' football starts here in HCU... Tomorrow is our match... The 'Misfit' team is ready... though with few injuries (including me)... That's our team... A mention about the team name... It has nothing to do with the 'Fitness'... The fact is when people form team on communities and all we are a mix of all... people from different states... We wont fit any where... but will fit everywhere... So all are waiting for the kick-off moment now...

I am the only one Research Scholar in the team... So need to finish so much of work in the mean time also... because my boss is not happy with my sporting activities in campus... he says I am too much involved in those... than research... So I can never neglect my work here and go after the matches alone....

Who's Young?

Question of the day... I was forced to ask myself this question after having interaction with one of the 2nd year Integrated MSc (equivalent to 2nd year in Bachelor of arts) student last day...

I was with a mission of motivation few in their batch to participate in some sports and games going to happen here in university... Whole bunch of these teenagers were so inactive from the day they joined the university which was not expected as they were just coming from school and supposedly with full energy and spirits...

In answer to my question of 'why not?'... she just answers... 'we are not so young as you?' Surprised at this teen's answer I asked... ' I am 10 years older than you, how you think I am younger?'...

'Young means, young in mind... you are so active and spirited... we are not so enthusiasts...'

OMG, all these young bunch if they feel old at this age!!! We 'old people'... we are still young too!!! Nice realization... But worried about the real 'youngsters' who needs some push...

Wind of change... The rising Phoenix...

Change, its always good... Keeping ourself same for a long time... we will forget the real us... Once in a while we need to change the wind direction.... and see how we are in the new situation, the new atmosphere...

Survived??? then we are capable to anything and everything... strong...

The change came unexpected for me... thought it's difficult to cope up... but I survived... or in a better word... 'WON'... I won the war...

Let the wind blow again... I don't mind... I have the confidence in me now... to face anything... to do anything... and to be what I am...

It's football time...

I am back again... guess what... after cricket, its football season in campus... so excited... My final Nari cup football I suppose...

My team had won twice here in university.. but last year we didnt play... the reason was 95% of my team had finished their course and left the campus... and I missed them most and didnt look out for new players combined with some hectic research work...

This year also I thought, just like in cricket; 'ok no time for any more team formation, focus on work and leave'... But just like cricket, one team came for me... I couldnt say NO...

So I am back again... back as 'ME'... feeling so good... We worked out a bit in the mosrning... Our coach was optimistic... With a week to go, we have lots of work to do..,

Life without internet....

The importance of internet... and the fact that I can't live a day without it... I realised today... All these days after the problem of internet connectivity in India, today was the worst day in university... Even google stopped working... University server unlike any other day was faster... But the connection to the outside world... my online community... it was stopped all on a sudden.. one ful day...

Many a times my friends had warned ne of this internet addiction... I couldnt stop at any point... Dont ask me to stop blogging or Orkutting... then what the internet is for me...

24hrs of suffocations, I finally decided to trust my phone and the Airtel connection... Airtel gprs is slow... gives the sped only in few 100s of kb/sec... but it had served a reliable connection for me before... So does today also... Or else how this blog come to you...

Talking about the gprs... I have seen many of my friends using that now a days... the fact is for most it's me who advertised... The only problem is I cant use from my laptop, since I have Windows Vista running there... and Motorola's 'Mobile Phone tools' is not compactable with Vista.. SO I had to install that in our lab system...

Whatever, I am happy to see my mail accounts.... though I have to wait a bit longer for the apges to load...

But upon a sec thought... I have to do something regarding my internet addiction...

A quiet sunday...

For me Sundays were with only 2 options... stay in room, sleep whole day... or go out to have a blast with my buddies and brother... But today the second option was ruled out since one among was sick and unable to move out of room... But instaed of staying in my room and killing time... I decided to stay away from campus in Jacob's house...

The very idea of a week-end outing is nothing other that be out of campus where I stay whole of my week... Atleast one day I need to be out of the place... or else... ha ha ha I will forget the outside world...

Infact yesterday I dined with Jacob when he cooked dinner... he is a great cook... After the sunday mass, I was thinking of going back to campus... Later I thought I will stay here for some time... But 'some' turned to staying here a 'while longer'... making some tea... and eating some junk food inbetween... downloading and listening to music... and watching TV inbetween... May be an outing is good... but lazing around with my brother was fun too...

away from the shopping malls, parks, movie theatres... where we spend our Sundays... a 'quiet sunday' is infact relaxing... I am not in a crowd... and I am alone too...

The call of work...

Recently the most frequent question people ask me is regarding one thing; work!!! How is the work now? How far is the thesis? And people who never see me often around.... ‘Oh, so you submitted the thesis?’... The answering part is becoming difficult these days... Final year of the research... the pressure from many sides to finish off and go from here... and the work being lagged behind out of expectation.... it’s all painful...

It’s not like I am not working... The call of work is more than before... But at the same frequency are the distractions... Get rid of the tensions, I am upto many things... and in the end it’s affecting the work... Worse?!!

Meeting my guide in the morning and having discussions, I will be having a ton of work to do for the day... Today I just took 1 hr to finish some and discuss again... But the brain stopped working and I was worried... To get rid of it only I am writing this blog (the problem of keeping my laptop near work)... In the end it’s my own research time I am wasting... But I am feeling better.... till may be my boss call and tell... “1 hr is over now... where are you?”... Let me go back to work now...

Somebody remembered me!!!

That was a time I was having my dinner... as usual I was infront of Disney Channel... The day it changed the language to Telugu from English for most of the programmes, I had stopped watching that channel... But somehow Friday 7.00pm movie they kept in English... I was in a most relaxing mood... Then rang the phone... It was just a missed call... An unknown number... Again... Picked...

“hello, where are you”, other end....

Confused and unable to recognize the sound “I am in university”....

“so what are you doing?”

Still puzzled me... “May I know who is speaking”....

“Somebody thinking about you”....

Oh... a friend of mine... Unexpected... Never thought she will call; she had gone home days back... thought just forgot... there were few reasons to think like that... So the unexpected call was cheering... ‘Somebody thought about me, though I never expected’...

Few hours before that... Evening tea time...

I was sitting with my super senior and having a tea in our ‘Gops’... Inbetween he mentioned... ’You have got a fan in my work place. She was a student here in university before... told you are a good sports person and was very active’.... A fan!!! I jumped... I never knew I have fans... and people admire me like that...

So its not just somebody who just remembered me just one day... there are many who remember me... many a times a day... without my knowledge... and many loves me without my knowledge... I am loved and cared... by many... And I feel so so lucky....

A new beginning...

Here is the beginning... A new space, a new style...

The word 'beginning', it always brings hope... 'New' is always welcoming... refreshing...

Beginning is the end of something... end of a chapter, end of an era... We are closing a door to open to another one... another world...

It's always a human desire that something new should never give a disappointment... Well, it was my desire too... Somehow, we think and desire... but someone else decides some percent... things wont work the way we dream...

A tint of disappointment in the 'new beginning'... But never think I am stuck down... I am strong, and I will never let myself defeated... that's the beginning note for me...